God is love and will shed his love in your heart as you pray in faith believing! He is faithful and promises to never let you be tempted above which you can bear or he will make a way to escape. Be wise and take instruction to become a better person and improve your relationship. The bible calls them unnatural and perverse. The end result will be not speaking at all. They won’t and can’t! Sixth, the ‘we can save money’ argument is canceled by the truth that ‘if we seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness, God will provide’. I would like to thank those who have imparted into my life, like Gary Chapman, Mark Gungor, Josh McDowel, Larry Christiansen, Gary Smalley, the Parrots, Craig Hill, Neil Anderson, Dr. Dobson, Dr. Beasely and many more. Do you have your parents blessing, as well as your Pastor and friends blessing? To bring the subject up again for discussion, after there has been a reasonable amount to time to ‘think in through’, is ok. ( Gary Smalley), If the wife wants her husband to do something she needs to do three things. And, after all, you chose them! Men actually like to have their wives share some of their interests. Walk with Jesus and choose good friends. If you are struggling in this area you will need to confess your fault to another mature Christian and get prayer for deliverance. Words and deeds must compliment each other to ring true. Consider doing the the following to help in the financial area: 1. (Ps 119:9-11, 105. Touching signals ‘everything is ok between us’. If it’s not jokingly, don’t say “if you do this or that, I’ll be appreciative tonight”. Maybe the husband expects a home cooked meal each night like his mother had done. Love never fails.”. (Dr. Don Beasely and by observations), Watch how you play. There is a place in everyone’s heart that only the Lord Jesus Christ can fill. (Gary Smalley) (Prov 31, Titus 2:4, Eph 5:33), Men usually don’t care to shop with their wives, because of their different natures. Seek parental advice, but make your own decisions and create your own family traditions. A wise man, however, should recognize his wife’s wisdom and always listen to her feelings and advice before making a decision. Couples should communicate and pray about these matters. Spent some time together. If you have trouble listening and waiting until someone has finished speaking, then the tossing an actual ball during conversations can be used for training in how to wait until it’s your turn to speak. Ignoring each other’s needs 8. For an example, “John is patient, John is kind, John does not envy,……”. In choosing a marriage partner, you might consider the following before saying 'I do': 1. Do it the way God intended. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. That means don’t let your anger get out of control and drag on for days. When angry, try to identify the ‘real’ underlying source of your displeasure. They may not agree but it will help the person think about how they are really feeling. Share intimate feelings with a friend of the opposite sex. The Golden Lab people are very likable and everyone’s friend. (2 Sam 13:14,15). Beauty really is only skin deep! Disagreements should be discussed in private. You break your vow 3. A relationship is in serious trouble when it has reached the point of ‘not saying anything’. (Eph 5:25-33), The bible teaches that a man is to be the head of the family, with the wife taking the subjective role. Ask for advice from someone wise in the financial area. The ‘Otter’ type person is playful, enthusiastic, a risk taker, visionary, motivator, energetic, very verbal, promoter, friendly, enjoys popularity, fun-loving, likes variety, spontaneous, enjoys change, creative, optimistic and inspirational. Parents of teenagers should consider discussing the 'Before Marriage’ thoughts with their young adults. Be an attentive listener. (Eph 6:1-4), One of the best things parents can do for their children is to love and honor each other. If someone you are interested in doesn’t know Jesus and actually discourages your faith, forget it! Don’t react in the flesh but respond by the leading of the Holy Spirit. If you have worldly friends your lifestyle will reflect worldliness. The feelings can be coming from a generational curse or a ‘spirit of perversion’. (Song 8:4), Fact, premarital sexual relations or even pregnancy doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner will love you. This is especially true if you have not shared those feelings with your mate. That means that after listening, repeat what you've heard the other tell you. (The Parrots), To communicate how you feel in a situation, try using a 'word picture'. They enjoy the ‘shopping experience’. They can cook a meal, tend to a crying child, talk on the phone and watch TV all at once! For instance, she may be better at handling the finances. (Gal 5:16, 22, 25, Eph 5:18), Attitude is the ‘aroma of the heart’. Wives should keep themselves looking attractive and keep Dad wanting to come home. The ‘Golden Lab’ type person is sensitive, loyal, calm, even keeled, non-demanding, non-confrontational, warm and relational. Church attendance, which is fellowship with God’s people, is good. The need for affection may be romantic or the body chemicals have built up to cause a strong desire for union. This will help eliminate dealing with unspoken expectations later. Use it when necessary. Not providing or withholding needed physical affection 6. If you disagree with a discipline given by the other parent discuss it in private. Go on a date once in a while to keep the romance alive. (Pastor Mark Gungor), Women are wired by God to multitask. So control that temper. (James 1:13, Heb 2:18, 4:15), Every premarital relationship that you open your heart to and then have it torn apart will leave scar tissue. (Matt 7:24-25, Romans 8:28), Pray together daily. Then with God’s help we can learn to use the strengthens and manage the weaknesses. Do it the right way. They define us as being ‘The Lion’, the ‘Golden Lab’, the ‘Otter’ and the ‘Beaver’ type of personalities. In the context of marriage and the resulting family, we are to find companionship, nurturing, security and love. Are they responsible and can you trust them? (Exodus 20:3). As quickly as you can, pray and get your spirit under control of the Holy Spirit. Communication is like playing ball. (Prov 13:12), If you have to bring up something negative always ask God for wisdom. (Prov 29:22, 30:22, Matt 5:22, Matt 6:14-15, Mark 11:25-26), Silence is a communicator! (Prov 8:33, 9:9, 12:1, 15:32, 19:20), Always forgive each other. Stay in control and be patient. Always honor God with your first fruits. God does! 3. (1 JOHN 1:9). (Mark Gungor) ( Prov 14:1), Using affection as ‘a bargaining chip’ is not acceptable. Reflecting back what you are discerning can help get to the root of a situation. If you have godly friends, then you will be motivated to be righteous. Even if a couple is engaged to be married and they skip a stage the relationship will suffer later in the trust area. Be filled with God’s spirit. If you awaken the sexual appetite before its time, then you will have to fight the spirit of lust, which will keep you from enjoying people and life in the way God intended. Never try to make anyone or anything be your God and to meet all your needs. ( Eccl 8:5, James 1:5), Remember to choose your words wisely. (Romans 12:17, 1 Cor 13:6, Luke 11:17, Eph 4:25), Say ‘please and thank you’ to demonstrate humility and show your appreciation. Look at the person whose speaking to you and pay attention. Once known, make the effort to show them in ‘their way’ your love. (Heb 13:4, Mark 10:9), God hates divorce and abuse. Do you feel comfortable with them? Money can be a major issue in marriage. It’s giving up selfishness and self-centeredness. Flee fornication and potentially adulterous affairs. Seventh, future trust and respect issues will be created. Men and women should both realize that sexual needs are psychological and also hormonal. The marriage will be strong when these basic needs are being met. (Gen 33:4, Luke 15:18-24), If you can’t resolve an issue, get a mediator. 5. Avoid this by keeping just friendships until you find that special person. Also, withholding affection for an extended time as a punishment is not wise. Marriage is the basic building block of all human society. Identifying the cause helps you to not misplace the blame. Have you prayed and do you have 'the peace of the Lord' in your heart about this relationship? Marriage is to be a life long covenant to be severed only by death. Will they make a good parent to your children? Speaking to one another in a demeaning way or acting as if their opinion doesn’t matter 7. (Song 8:4, Prov 30:19), The bible tells us not to awaken ‘the sexual appetite’ before marriage. (1 Cor 13:5), Never compare your husband or wife to someone else. One of their favorite boxes is the ‘nothing box’, in which they watch TV, fish or do something when they just don’t have to think at all! (1 John 3:18). (1Cor 6:19-20, Heb 12:14, Col 3:17), Read the Word daily. 2. As goes the family so goes a nation. Women, remember that he didn’t marry you to have just a maid and cook, but wanted a companion, friend and lover. 4. 5. Are they a committed Christian? It’s called loving each other and helping each other be happy. The old ‘ If you love me you will’ is twisted around. The less scar tissue the easier and more complete is the bonding of your hearts in marriage. (Prov 2:16-18, 5:1-5, 15-20, James 5:16)), We think of communication as just speaking words, but in fact, the tone in which we speak the words sends a message as loud as the words themselves. They can do many things at once. Talk about finances, paying bills, cooking, cleaning the house, the holidays, when to have children, the chlidren's religious training and such. Young men will sometimes play at love to get sex. Never do or say anything to break that bond of trust between you and your marriage partner. No looking back. (Gary Smalley), How you say something speaks as loud as what you say. It indicates one or both have stopped trying. Only the one with the ball can speak. Avoid regretful purchases by using the ‘pray and wait at least a day’ rule on all major purchases. (Ps 55:13-14, Prov 6:24-25), Men are inclined to go into a cave (get alone) to ‘think through’ a problem situation. Husbands need to cherish and nurture their wives. They want to settle down and make a home for their family. This is especially true if you are in junior high or high school and are not mature enough or ready for a relationship to develop. (Matt 6:9-13, Matt 18:19, Phil 4:6,7), The ‘foundation of trust’ is necessary for any relationship to be strong.

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